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Neveye - Hogwarts Resident Smithy
The Deal - a radio play


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Plot Summary


The deal, a 4 minute radio play


        Use of sound effects

        Not restrained for characters

        4 typed double spaced pages

        on computer







The deal is roughly a four minute play. Set in a south London pub.  The pub is fairly busy filled with many forms of low life.  We first meet up with the two characters, as they appear to be going over the finalisation of their scheme.  Cyril is a typical scumbag with a common accent to these parts.  Albert however sounds greatly out of place amidst this scene with a well-spoken voice.

The Deal   - An adventure of the Muggle Albert


*Sound of glasses clinking and distant voices*


Cyril: - Well?


Albert: - Ah Cyril, take a seat.


*Sound of chair scrapping*


Albert: - Drink?


Cyril: - No I'd rather get down to business.


Albert: - I wonder what it would be like to be the worm in tequila.  Abysmal I suppose,


Drowned and pickled, only to be eaten long after you are dead.  I trust it all went well.


Cyril: - Yes I chose the boy to carry out the task.


Albert: - Any trouble?


Cyril: - There's always one who wants to earn a bit of extra cash.  For six hundred in


advance.  More than the sod gets paid in half a year.


Albert: - Who was he?


Cyril: - Dunno.  You know name-dropping isn't our business.  Just get the order follow it




Albert: - Yes, Yes.  Quite.  You have the order on you?  Give it to me.


*Sound of paper rustling*


Albert: - Thank you.  I suppose we'd better head for the track.  The boy, is he trustworthy?


Cyril: - He's the most arrogant kid in the yard.  Reckons he's the best dog handler there.  The


Best of the best!  Little brat.  Wouldn't be surprised if he had gone for Phil's job.  .


Albert: - It says here the job is to be done by two thirty.  Thats two hours before the race.


Cyril: - The boy will be fine.  Got morals though.  Not very deep obviously, but some kind of


Morals.  Wanted to be sure the dogs would be all right.  Told him the dogs would be fine if


He stuck to the plan.  Shouldn't be able to start the race.

Albert: - Hmmm


Cyril: - He knows his part.


Albert: - As it should be.  (Pause)  Six dogs running in that race.  Only three real




Cyril: - Not now


Albert: - True.  'Jordan's boy', I have two and a half grand on that one.


Cyril: - O'mally.  Won't be happy.  Been training that dog of his.


Albert: - 'Tally ho.'


Cyril: - Yeah that one, for months now.  Mind you even with the handy cap it would have to


run well.


Albert: - It won't run.  If your friend has anything to say about it.


Cyril: - It won't run.  The boys more than capable


Albert: - I hope your faith in him is rewarded for your sake


Cyril: - For both our sakes.


Albert: - mm


Cyril: - 'As old as time ' is now finally out of the picture.  It means pure profit.


Albert: - Barkeep!  Turn up the t.v.  Well Cyril, we shall find out once and for all.


Commentator: - The dogs are loaded in to the stalls.  All sixteen dogs are running today,


The vet has cleared them and the weather is promising


Albert: - Tell me have you ever seen a dog run on dope?  No?  Well watch four and


Two Closely.  The thing about creatures running on dope, horses included is that you can


Never predict how it will effect the individual.


Commentator: - and they're off 'Jordan's boy' leads the pack closely followed by.


*Sound of t.v interference and disgruntled customers*


Cyril: - Barkeep!


Barkeep: - Sorry, sorry.


*Sound of 'bang' as barkeep hits t.v*


Commentator: - 'Jordan's boy' has won the race.  Leaving Tallyho straggling behind in third


Place.  We are still awaiting the vets verdict on 'As old as time' the dog just appeared to have


Had a stroke on the third bend.


Albert: - there's bound to be a steward's inquiry.


Cyril: - not unless the race is void.


Albert: - it will not be void.


Commentator: - The winner is 'Jordan's boy' back to 'As old as time' the dog has had a


sample Taken for a drug test, and has had to be put down.  After a disappointing race from


two of the main three contenders, the winner is  'Jordan's boy'


Albert: - excellent.


Cyril: - barkeep!  Two beers.


Albert: - doping dogs can be more unpredictable than the weather.  You're promised one


thing More often than not, you get another.


Cyril: -surprised it doesn't kill the bloody things straight off.


Albert: - thats where science comes in if you give the correct amounts, it isn't all ways fatal.


at least not right away.


Cyril: - glad you and me are partners.  At least one of us understands what we are doing,


Scientifically speaking, of course.


Albert: -Since we are in this er, partnership.  Perhaps you could tell me the boy's name.


Cyril: - I wouldn't even if I could, he never mentioned it.  I know him only as Smith. 


Not his real name Of course.


Albert: - Of course.  I'm supposed to be delivering the rest of the money to him tonight.


Cyril: - By the hut?


Albert: - Yes.  How will I recognise him?


Cyril: - Short, curly brown hair, ugly bugger, always wears that pathetic hat.  Look are you


Sure you are supposed to be dropping the money off.  Wouldn't it be better if I did it?


Albert: - I don't think so, do you?


Cyril: - I know the boy you don't.


Albert: - I know Fred McIntyre very well thank you.  Besides the boys and myself don't trust


you, not after the Hillsborough incident.


Cyril: - That was a year ago.


Albert: - Be as it may.  You grassed up two of the best men we had,


Cyril: - That was never proved.


Albert: - You grassed up two of our best men, only delivered half the package.  It caused the


Syndicate in a bit of an embarrassment, especially since we found you had the other half. 


You are lucky you're still alive let alone working.


Cyril: - Ok, ok you take it to the boy.


*Sound of footsteps*


Albert: - Ah yes, which reminds me.  This is Reece and Downs.  Gentlemen this is Cyril




Cyril: - What are you doing?  Your not supposed to use real names!


Albert: - I wouldn't worry we're all friends here.  Aren't we boys?  Talking of friends Mr


Reece and Mr Downs are about to acquiant you with your old friends from the Hillsborough


District, Currently residing in Wormwood scrubs.  If you get my meaning.


Cyril: - No.  You wouldn't do that to old Cyril now would you?  Make it worth your while


Hey George?


Albert: - It's D.C. Albert Watkins, if you don't mind.  Just seeing you getting along with your


old friends in Wormwood are enough for me 'old Cyril'.  (Whispers)  Besides I'm currently up


six And a half grand thanks to you old boy.